Jagged Times

Today, August 5, 2008 , is one of the “nothing-to-do” days in the office.
Instead of whining and bugging my boss for work again, I decided not to ask and started writing this instead.
Oooppss… I know what you’re thinking. No, this is not theft of company time. My boss knew that I don’t have work but doesn’t give me any. And if work would come at around 7PM , I would be staying to finish it EOD (where EOD is undefined). And when I said started writing this, it doesn’t mean I’ll finish it today.

Let me then share to you my Journey with the Lord here in Singapore .
I came to Singapore to work for one of the busiest team in one of the busiest banks making this boring “nothing-to-do” day in the office a blessing. Before I came here, I was warned on the kind work. My team lead even advised me to work in any other company but here.
At that time however, I was emotionally down to balance things over. I was disheartened on how I’ve been growing professionally and financially depressed back in Manila.
Hearing the agent hiring me for work at this busy bank, ringed dollars in my ears. Then seeing the contract formed dollars in my eyes.
Then the Lord made me choose over money and service. Days before I got the job offer, my household head back in manila, asked me to be a DGL. I was at first hesitant because I am not good with praying in front of people and was not a good leader but I was soo thrilled by the invitation. I was excited to take part on the spiritual growth of a small group. I said yes and I was excited.
In the end however, money won over service.

September 22nd of last year, I came to Singapore to work for money. I came here with insufficient funds and questionable work-related skills needed for a bank-related work. My only armor is my faith in the Lord that He would sustain me no matter what.
My first 6 months here in Singapore was no joke. I was not doing well at work. The kind of work that I am doing back in the Philippines was chicken feet* compared to what I was tasked here. I needed to learn too much in sooo little time. In this busy bank, I lost a lot of self-confidence. I felt like I dont want to work anymore because I felt so brainless. I feel so down and I even wished to be retrenched so that I wont have to pay for the bond. What made it more frustrating is that I no longer have a place to cry. (I used to cry at the Shrine) I missed home so much. My family, my hawshold sisters, my close friends … I felt that I was soo far away. I did not join SFC because I didn’t know anyone who was active. I was adamant to attend CLP or hawshold alone. Added to that, I didn’t have time because my normal time in the office was 10AM -10PM.

I started here being just me and my faith against all Singapore odds.
There was a time when I got soo tired that I bought with my eyes closed a one-way ticket worth 500SGD only to go home to Philippines for a 3-day holiday trip.
But that… those were all in the past.

The Lord did sustain me during those jagged times. And today I am getting my blessing thru manageable work, gaining back my self-confidence and am doing better now. But whats best is that I was able to be back to the SFC community once again.

I know there would come a time when work would become like the old times again but when that time comes, I’d be stronger and wouldn’t falter because I know the Lord will sustain me once again.



"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken." -Psalm62:1

***I wrote this last August 5 @ the office. Only now that I was able to post it in my blog.